How to Love
WISDOM OF THE AGES IN A COUPLE OF PAGES
IDEALS AND PRINCIPLES
FOR PEACEFUL AND HARMONIOUS LIVING
“If the people be led by laws, and uniformity sought to be given them by punishments, they will try to avoid the punishment, but have no sense of shame.
If they be led by virtue, and conformity sought to be given them by the rules of propriety, they will have the sense of shame, and moreover will become good”. Confucius
CONTENTS
PROLOGUE
Chapter 1: Introduction
Chapter 2: General guidelines for peaceful and harmonious living
Chapter 3: General guidelines for peaceful and harmonious living
in the home
Chapter 4: Ideals and principles for peaceful and
harmonious living in the office
Chapter 5: Ideals and principles for peaceful and
harmonious living in public
EPILOGUE
Prologue
The first name that came to me for this book was ‘THINGS WE DON’T TALK ENOUGH ABOUT and should do’ and as you see I changed to this slightly controversial title ‘How to Love’. But if you think about it, you will eventually agree that it does make a lot of sense.
Perhaps I should explain. Saying that you love is one thing, showing how you love is another. Sometimes we say one thing and do something else. So to prove that we mean what we say we must behave in a manner consistent with our words. We love by showing that we care and by showing in all the small ways, respect and consideration for others. The pursuit of a virtuous life is the answer to peaceful and harmonious living. These short, simple and familiar maxims are topics for discussion, especially in the home where some parents feel embarrassed or reluctant to talk to their children about these matters, and in the schools where virtuous living is considered the private domain of each child. Everyday we see the outcome of such an approach – indiscipline, intolerance and violence. Learning how to live harmoniously and peacefully with others must also be taught and learnt.
Parents/Teachers:
Pick a topic and discuss one everyday with your children/pupils. Make a point of discussing the virtues, it helps in character building and gives people ideals to aspire to, such as patience, humility, fortitude, honesty, abstention, contentment, courage, kindness and discretion.
Discuss the vices which people are prone to and make them aware of the pitfalls of threading these paths such as laziness, envy, pride, quarrelsomeness, making confusion, overindulgence, drugs, drunkenness, selfishness, discrimination and intolerance.
Together we can make our world a better place to live in and we start doing this in the home. Some of us only speak to children when we have to correct or scold them. Have good conversations with the young ones. They depend on us to show them the right way in a loving environment. To love is to live To live is to love Without love life is empty Do these things and you show Love for yourself and others
If we observe these maxims, think before we speak, watch what we say and know when to say it, in addition to adopting a loving healthy life style, we should live longer happier lives and be considered wise and easy to get along with.
I have profited from these ‘reminders to myself’ as I like to call them, as that’s exactly what they are, by rereading them anytime I get a chance. The reason is that we are prone to error and fall into unwise ways of thinking, or react in ways which are not in our best interest especially in spur of the moment situations. By reading these maxims and sharing them with others we help ourselves to remember that there is a wise, healthy and constructive way to live. Reprint them and put them up in appropriate places, in the home, in schools and in the work place. You have my permission.
Anthony Webster March 6, 2019
Chapter 1
Introduction
How to love yourself and others
Man will never be able to unravel the mystery of life but at least we can try to appreciate it by valuing it and making the most of it. We are given the gift of life which consists of soul, mind and body by the Creator and placed on the planet to become real human beings – whole loving human beings.
This awareness should assist us to behave in a manner consistent with someone who has been given the awesome responsibility of taking care of such a wonderful gift. We do this first by loving and valuing ourselves. We love and value ourselves by following rules and principles which enable us to live a happy life – a life filled with purpose, caring, sincerity and serenity. There is nothing that can compare with such an achievement.
If you have seen the movies ‘The Six Million Dollar Man’ and ‘Robocop’ you would realize that these are examples of the wonders of science in the quest to remake man or at least parts of him to enable man’s body to function efficiently after an accident. They pale in comparison with the wonders of nature and the miracle of the human body. Here is one reason to love yourself; we are caretakers of the most magnificent and intricate piece of equipment created – the human body which of course can only function if it has life, just as a vehicle can only function if it has a driver. Consider your soul (your life force) as the driver and your body as a priceless piece of equipment, loaned to you for your use and safekeeping for your life journey. Alas, some of us value and take greater care of our vehicles than of ourselves. Probably it’s a good thing that human beings are not always taken up in how wonderful they are made as we may be tempted to stand around admiring ourselves all day.
I hope that I will be able to convince you that what matters most is that you take responsibility for these gifts seriously, enjoy them, take the best possible care of them and live in peaceful coexistent with others.
Chapter 2 – The General Guidelines for Peaceful and Harmonious Living shows us how to love ourselves.
Chapters 3, 4 and
5 show us how to love our neighbours and keep out of trouble.
Chapter 2
GENERAL GUIDELINES FOR PEACEFUL AND HARMONIOUS LIVING
- Respect authority
- Get an education
- Invest in Lifelong Learning (keep on learning all your life)
- Accept responsibility for your life and your actions
- Develop your talents
- Use your initiative
- Practice self control
- Enjoy your life
- Help others
- Be considerate
- Try understanding and appreciation rather than criticizing
- Try to live by the highest principles
Chapter 3
IDEALS AND PRINCIPLES FOR PEACEFUL AND HARMONIOUS LIVING IN THE HOME
- Respect your parents
- Don’t waste time
- Don’t use other peoples property without asking
- Put things back after using them
- Help around the house without being asked
- Keep a clean scene
- Attend to allocated chores
- Find out / Ask before accusing
- Discuss / Have conversations; don’t argue
- When you earn, contribute to the home
- Train your children
- Be disciplined
Children: get parents’ permission first
on key issues e.g. staying out late, giving away household items, inviting
friends home etc.
Chapter 4
IDEALS AND PRINCIPLES FOR PEACEFUL AND HARMONIOUS LIVING IN THE OFFICE
- Respect everyone
- Don’t Gossip
- Organise/manage your time
- Give an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay
- Look after the total well-being of employees
- Support your boss
- Be a team player
- Keep learning
- Give your best to your organization / employer
Chapter 5
IDEALS AND PRINCIPLES FOR PEACEFUL AND HARMONIOUS LIVING IN PUBLIC
- Respect everyone
- Obey road safety rules
- Be considerate
- Give others a chance
- Don’t obstruct the pavement or the roadway
- Greet others; return greetings
- Don’t interfere in other people’s business
- Help in any way you can
- Think before you speak/act
- Don’t get into altercations; walk away (don’t argue with an arguer) (Admit if you are wrong and if necessary apologise)
- Live and let live
- Leave good enough alone (don’t do things that will make matters worse).
EPILOGUE
I make no excuse for the brevity of this book for it is also written with the hope of getting those, who as a rule do not like or want to read, to read it. I have been encourage to make this book longer, but I resisted for two reasons, the one given above and the other: the hope that if you do not understand anything in it, that it would encourage ‘good’ talk, conversation, questions and discussion. “Things we don’t TALK ENOUGH about but should do!” If you have read from the beginning and reached this far I have achieved my first goal. If you have sought explanations or discussed anything contained within, I would have achieved my second goal.
This book will not be complete if I omit the words of the great teacher and exemplar of how to love – Jesus the Christ. The coming of Christ signalled a new dispensation. While the Ten Commandments will forever remain a guide to humanity of the rules of right conduct, Jesus reduced/summed up these commandments to two.
- Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart, thy whole soul, thy whole mind and thy whole strength.
- Thou shall love thy neighbour as thyself.
This is not a book on religion, but it is a book about the second commandment – loving yourself and your neighbour, which is the key to peace on the planet.
Finally remember that love is not just about a dry observation of these guidelines. Remember always that love comes from the heart and we need always to listen to our heart. Loving is about being observant to the need for love and affection in others and fulfilling them to the best of our ability.
Email: lafgayl@yahoo.com
THINGS WE DON’T TALK ABOUT ENOUGH AND SHOULD DO
We are familiar with every single ideal and principle outlined herein, but because we don’t talk about them enough, value them and promote them, we fail to practice, remember and teach them to our children. These are topics for everyday discussion with all children to encourage them to be noble citizens in a more beautiful world. We need to remind our children of the benefits to themselves of living virtuous lives. The media spreads the message mostly of vice and crime because that is what sells. Here is our opportunity to counteract this influence and make a positive contribution to the young lives for which we are responsible.